Viktor Frankl, author of Man's Search for Meaning, said that in between each urge (stimulus) and its response is a space. It is that space wherein your power and freedom lie.
If for example, you find yourself reacting angrily and snapping harshly at your child when she grabs for candy at the supermarket checkout and you've tried to respond differently, pay attention to the small space between her action and your response. It is within THAT moment, that the choice to do it differently presents itself. Each time you even notice that space you've contributed to the eventual change in the pattern that makes you feel regretful.
If for example, you find yourself reacting angrily and snapping harshly at your child when she grabs for candy at the supermarket checkout and you've tried to respond differently, pay attention to the small space between her action and your response. It is within THAT moment, that the choice to do it differently presents itself. Each time you even notice that space you've contributed to the eventual change in the pattern that makes you feel regretful.