Do you help even when it's at the expense of yourself or deprives you of sleep, energy, or self care?
Where do you find yourself on your own list of priorities?
You may have difficulty figuring out when helping or pleasing people is not in your best interest.
Here are some ways to help you decide~
You can tell if your helping or people pleasing is not healthy by answering the following questions:
-Are you doing things for another that they should be doing for themselves? (i.e. doing homework for your child, or calling in sick for your son who spent the night partying and is sleeping if off)
-Does helping make you feel resentful, drained, or cranky?
-Do you automatically say yes to requests before taking a moment to think them through?
-Does "helping" regularly create barriers related to what you want/need?
-Do you help or please others out of a need for approval, being liked, or gaining attention?
-Are you a chameleon-changing your behavior, thoughts and statements to be in sync with the other?
-Do you frequently put your own needs aside to please another?
-Do you often do things that make you uncomfortable because you don't want to upset the other or make them not like you?
You can probably see where this is going!
Remember~ helping is doing what's helpful for the other person, not what you think is helpful.
Lastly, if you happen across a help-rejecting complainer, RUN. These are folks who complain incessantly but will do nothing to change their situation. They aren't interested in feedback or suggestions. Let them be.