TOMORROW DOESN'T NEED TO LOOK LIKE TODAY
Do you feel confused or frustrated with your relationship? Does it seem like you're each on opposite sides of the fence and can't figure out how things went sour? Do you sometimes feel like you'll pull your hair out trying to get the other to hear you? Maybe you wonder if things will ever be right in this relationship. You may question whether you're still even cared about.
If you've tried everything you can think of to preserve your relationship, you may believe there's no hope. Counseling can help you sort through the tension that hampers your relationship and clarify what you need and want to be different. It can help you understand and interrupt powerful patterns that replay again and again, communicate more clearly and productively, rediscover connection, and gain relief from conflict and turmoil.
One all- too-common pitfall is to wait until things are seriously wrong with your relationship before getting help. Research suggests that couples wait an average of 6 years enduring painful, frustrating interactions before seeking help. The sooner you can catch the freefall, alter patterns, and stop the destruction, the more likely you are to re-build.
Why might you pursue couples or marriage counseling?
-To strengthen a satisfying relationship
-To get through a rough patch
-To repair a troubled relationship
-To decide if you'd like to continue or to dissolve your relationship
-To end the relationship with dignity and when children are involved, to begin the co-parenting process in ways that have your childrens' best interests as a high priority
Many people begin couples/marriage counseling wishing the therapist will point out the error of their partner's ways. If you want to get the most out of couples therapy, start by asking yourself:
-What do I need to strengthen in myself to be a better partner?
-What areas do I need to develop?
-What kind of partner do I want to become?
-Where are the places that my behavior creates pain for my partner?
Issues that may arise that couples struggle with:
-Tension or conflict that occurs due to differences in style, personality, or communication types
-Loss of feeling emotionally safe related to a pattern of unskillful fighting
-Lack of trust due to infidelity, lying or treating one another critically or with contempt
-Drifting apart due to lack of common goals, direction, interests
-Feeling disconnected as a result of your relationship not being nurtured
-Differences in desire in your sexual relationship leading to hurt, confusion, and feeling rejected
What can you expect from me in couples or marriage counseling sessions? I will:
-Foster an environment in which you can feel comfortable talking about tough subjects
-Pay attention to and help build the strengths that you each bring to your relationship, identify the pitfalls, and begin to help untie the knots that keep you stuck
-Help you remember why you came together in the first place
-"Translate" and help you to decode what your partner is trying to say
-Assist in sorting through feelings about the relationship, bridging gaps in personal style and communication, and understanding the pain that you each experience
-Gently shine a light on areas where you may be unknowingly contributing to relationship difficulties
-Offer tools and strategies for grappling with challenging emotions, interacting more effectively, and easing conflict
-Help you to become resources to and supports for one another
-Suggest experiments to try outside sessions to test out new behaviors
If you'd like to explore couples counseling with me in my Albany, New York office, please get in touch with me. Phone is (518) 456-7030 and email is Lochnd@gmail.com.
Wonder if your relationship is abusive?