Maybe you've heard yourself say something similar. "Should" has a tightness to it- a rigidity. Notice how your body responds to a should. Close your eyes and tune into your body when you use the word. Holding ourselves and others to absolute standards, all the time, without any flexibility can be draining. What would happen if you upgraded your shoulds to preferences?
I'd prefer my partner listen to me. I'd like to be more patient. I aspire to do my best in all that I take on. Do you notice a shift? A loosening? Rather than demanding that you or others behave in prescribed ways, preferring can actually create more space to allow that which you'd like to happen to show up. Allowing can be far more powerful and less energy intensive than forcing.