Just tip your toe into the waters of acceptance~
-from a discussion with a wise friend
-from a discussion with a wise friend
Donna Lochner NCC, LMHC Counseling and Psychotherapy |
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Just tip your toe into the waters of acceptance~
-from a discussion with a wise friend Build a bridge as you're crossing it~
-from a wise friend discussing living a moment at a time What Else Can Be True?
Many times we come to conclusions about other people's behavior, interpreting it in the worst possible way. An aggressive driver is tailgating. We think he believes he can 'treat us like that'. Or that he's a jerk or loser. When we ask, 'what else could be true?' it's possible there are a variety of possibilities. Maybe someone died and he's rushing to get to the funeral. Perhaps daycare is closing and he's on a deadline to pick up his child. Or he could be sleep deprived and not able to properly judge distance. This isn't to say that his driving is acceptable. There's no way to know for certain what his intention was. Notice the impact that your interpretation has on you. Does it effect your levels of anger, frustration, or rage? Another scenario is this. Your partner comes home and looks past you without speaking. You might think, 'who does he think he is, walking past me as if I'm invisible ?' . What else could be true? Perhaps he's lost in thought. Maybe he is dazed having witnessed a disturbing car accident. He could be trying to remember a website broadcast from his car radio. A worst case scenario attribution rarely goes well. How you interpret an event colors your thoughts, reactions, and behaviors. Your response will almost always be largely determined by your view of the situation. Most often that response will not work in your favor. Negative interpretations can create anxiety, anger, depression, and shame. What else can be true? |
Donna Lochner
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